I looked in the mirror today...

I looked in the mirror today. I didn't see what I expected to see. No, I didn't have an especially bad case of chickenpox or shiny nose. The fact is, I'm different. A year ago, I was in no way near the person I am today. So many factors have contributed to this that I don't know where to start. A year ago, I was struggling to finish my senior year without succumbing to senioritis. I was unsure of myself; I didn't feel confident in decisions I made without input from my parents. Chronically self conscious, I know I didn't love myself like I do now.

So much has happened in the past year. I graduated. (Thank heaven.) I planned and had international adventures with my mother and siblings while my dad was deployed. I moved into two apartments by myself. I made hundreds of new friends and not just on Facebook. I actually had a calling in Relief Society before I even turned 18. I got hired! I finished a year of college. I stayed hired! I had my trials. I lost friends. I was left behind. I got hurt. But that isn't the point. I'm not sorry for anything. Everything I experienced has turned me into who I am today. Most importantly, it helped me grow closer to my Heavenly Father.

An essential part of being independent is realizing that you can't do anything alone. We rely on the grace of our Heavenly Father for everything. He blessed us with life and there is no possible way we can get through this refining journey without His comfort and guidance. I know that in both my most wonderful and my most difficult moments, He was always beside me. He is beside me now.

Today, I looked in the mirror and saw a strong, smart, beautiful, confident, independent daughter of God. I don't mind if no one else sees me that way. In fact, I know many don't. I don't say those things to be cocky or prideful. My point is that it is important that I see myself that way and KNOW that this is how my Heavenly Father has always seen me.

This personal epiphany brought me another realization. Heavenly Father sees everyone this way. Everyone has beauty. Even the weakest of us has strength. Every one of us was given specific gifts by our Heavenly Father. Part of our job on earth is to recognize and exemplify those gifts in the service of others. Moreover, we need to strive to see each other in this divine light. Only then can we understand the pure love of Christ, which is unconditional and all-encompassing. In Les Miserables, Victor Hugo's protagonist Jean Valjean says, "To love another person is to see the face of God." When we fully understand our worth in Heavenly Father's eyes, we are able to see others as He does. When we see others as He does, our love for Him is magnified as we realize that although we are nothing compared to Him, we are everything to Him.

Birth of "The Original Sarah"

In the last few days, I've read so many people's inspiring, funny, thought-provoking, and just downright uplifting blogs. I don't expect mine to be any of those things, but I figured I might as well give it a shot. Right now, I have no life. I just moved into a new apartment, and I don't know a soul. Somehow people know who I am, which is a little creepy, but I don't know who they are. And my classes are easy! Gah! What am I going to do?! No homework? No social life? To top it off, I discovered Psych. That's dangerous. I get up, I go to work, I go to class, I workout, I come home, I watch Psych, I go to bed. Anyone who knows me knows that eating goes in there without saying. Anyways, I came to the conclusion that I can't live like this. My brain is melting. I'm thinking in Psych quotes. I have no one to listen to my sarcastic jokes or my pointless rants. Solution: Get friends. Evaluation: Not possible at this given time considering I am once again the dorky new kid. Second solution: Get a hobby. Evaluation: No inspiration. I get bored too easily with too many things. This is worth a shot. And I like talking and being on my computer. This is a fabulous combination.

Secondly, I call this "The Original Sarah" because in my first singles ward, there were six of us. Sarahs, I mean. It was confusing to say the least. Also, I've met enough Sarahs in my life to make anyone's head spin. I was best friends with one in the 3rd grade! We both even had h's. Crazy. Either way, after my many observations, I have come to the conclusion that I AM THE ORIGINAL SARAH! All other Sarahs are merely knock-offs attempting to imitate my awesomeness. (If your name is Sarah and you're offended, I don't care.)

Well, that's all I can think of. Essentially, starting this blog was just another distraction keeping me from going to bed at a decent time. But I actually think something may come of this. At least, I hope something does, and I don't end up dropping it. Like quilting. And Gone with the Wind. And unpacking my stuff... My poor roommates...